Public Speaking: 
Proverb Fortune Cookie Humor
(Note: Determine
if this is politically correct for your audience.)
You can throw
in a cute diversion to a boring public speaking engagement by attributing a
saying to an ancient Chinese philosopher. Since these sayings are not attributed
to anyone in particular, feel free to change or update them to fit your situation
and to enhance their humor.
(The term "original" here means as original as something can be after being
recited and translated for several hundred years.)
Original:
You cannot prevent the birds of sadness from flying over your head, but you
can prevent them from nesting in your hair.
Update:
You cannot prevent the birds of sadness from flying over your head, but you
can prevent them from pooping on your Gucci blazer.
Original: He who walk on eggs should tread lightly.
Update:
He who walk on eggs should find out the price per dozen.
Original: People who live in glass houses should not throw stones.
Update:
People who live in glass houses should pull down the blinds.
Original:
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
Update: Better to stick with a sure thing, than to pursue prospects.
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